"Men's midlife crises involve a motorbike and a tattoo or remarrying. Women get PhDs." (Mariella Frostrup, Cracking the Menopause (London: Bluebird, 2021).
Welcome to my 3rd blog post in which I describe my decision to undertake PhD research.
In 2002 I emigrated from England to New Zealand, to start, what I had thought would be a greener, more sustainable life by establishing a vineyard and wine company in rural Hawke's Bay. However, by 2010, I had realised that I could not live in isolation without friends and family and so, once again, I sought new pastures. I left both the vineyard life and my husband behind.
Single parenthood is hard and living some 12,000 miles from family support adds a whole other level of challenge. I spent the next eight years living with my young son in town and away from the rural lifestyle I had emigrated for. Life was hard. I was still working fulltime at the local Polytechnic, juggling the school run and bedtime stories on my own. I felt like a huge chunk of me was missing. Where had I gone? I no-longer recognised the woman that I had become. Don't get me wrong, I loved motherhood and I preferred the freedom of single parenthood to the situation of my marriage. However, as it is for most of us, 90 percent of my waking hours were spent at work. Whilst I don't want to be defined solely by the way in which I pay my mortgage, I do believe that our best work enriches our soul and the lives of those around us. Here, I was, working in a worthwhile role, supporting our communities to enter tertiary education, but this was not the career that I had aspired to, nor was it the one that I trained for. This, coupled with living in town without family, exemplified my feelings of loss and disconnection to the land and a community.
I think that most adults would agree, that sometimes we have to put our head down and tail up. We have to work hard, pay the mortgage or rent, do the monotonous school run and keep smiling. Adulting can be such a grind! Over the years, I made a concerted effort to make changes. I redrafted my CV and applied for environment-focused roles with the Department of Conservation and the Regional Council but, there was always someone else with more recent, relevant land management experience. However, it is true that good things comes to those who get off their butts and apply themselves, and in 2018 two new, exciting opportunities opened up.
Firstly, I decided that if I couldn't get a job based on my past experience and qualifications, then I needed to be more relevant. By this stage my son was in his final stages of Primary School and becoming less dependent on me for his every need. I had more time and certainly more head-space, and so I surfed the internet and found a programme of study that simply sounded, like me. I set my sights on a Masters Degree in Environment and Society at the University of Waikato. I had no idea where it would lead, but I knew that to get back into a role that I loved, I needed to make a concerted change. I dusted off my trusty Doc Martens (my personal symbol of drive and passion) and duly set about another juggle, of fulltime work, motherhood and distance education. Secondly, and almost simultaneously, my study experience was complemented by the establishment of a new role at EIT. A new Learning in Nature project was launched with funding from the Air New Zealand Environment Trust. I was promoted to the management role to establish an outdoor learning centre, connecting the community with nature and supporting sustainability and pro-enviromental behaviour. I LOVED both.
Photos - left to right: Planting trees with EIT students, Getting Married, Dusting off my Doc Marten's.
Work was not the only love interest in my life. A few months after starting the learning in nature project, I received another proposal. In February 2019, Derek, my partner of seven years, and I exchanged wedding vows. Caitlin Moran was mostly correct when she said in 2020 (and to paraphrase), "Men's midlife crisis involve a motorbike and a tatoo or remarrying. Women get PhDs". Derek chose two of the three, a motorbike and remarriage. I completed my Masters Degree and found myself developing a greater sense of drive and deeper need to work in the environmental space. Derek sees this passion, and like the best life-partner, is encouraging me harness my enthusiasm and to make the most of my knowledge and experience.
So, here I am. I have enrolled in PhD research and will spend the next three years exploring how we develop our values to the environment, and how this knowledge can be used by policy makers to influence positive and sustainable action. In parallel, I will keep writing this blog, which will feature a series of personal anecdotes related to my interests and everyday observations of our environment and communities. Please feel free to post a comment if my musings resonate with you, and please shout if you would like to share the things that you do to make a difference. I promise not to tub-thump too vigorously!
#environment&society
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